Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Victory so Sweet.

"I firmly believe that any man's finest hour, the greatest fulfillment of all that he holds dear, is that moment when he has worked his heart out in a good cause and lies exhausted on the field of battle - victorious..." -Vince Lombardi

Victory and success are like getting high minus the Mary J. You have to go in like a butterfly and sting like a bee.

There have been several times in my life when I have felt utter and complete success. For example..the first time I got away with drinking as a minor. The first time I got a tattoo and three months lapsed before my parents noticed. The time I was elected chief of a small African tribe. The first time I swam the English Channel without coming up for air...and the first time I shot a deer.

This past weekend I found myself up a tree once again hunting for food for Ma and Paw and little Timmy. Noone told me shotting guns and rubbing dirt on your face was so addicting. This time my handy sidekick was riding shotgun with me. Trusty Ole J. She's like a bird dog but sharper. And usually on her A game.

This time we were both handed guns and allowed to hunt together. Given that we had perfected our Marine hand signals and the ability to see through fire smoke and tear gas.

As we strapped the guns to our backs and headed out to the only place I've ever called home. I silently thought to myself .."Self. chances are you will shoot a deer." Because as my great mentor Muhammad Ali once said "It's lack of faith that makes people afraid of meeting challenges and I believed in myself."
It was still dark as we climbed in the tree stand. Silent like lions waiting for our kill. After two false alarms and the numbing of our extremities we started to lose hope. Failure. Again.

As we made fun of each other and how awkward we would look come spring time with peep toe shoes and our thrid and fourth toes missing, I spotted something to the right.

This is how it played out in Bad Boy 2 style. The distinct opening chords of "Welcome to the Jungle" was playing in the background as an excited rumble went through my chest.

I said ..."Hm. that looks like a deer. Hark it is a deer!"

I slapped J on the leg about fiftyeleven times and screamedwhispered "Look alive J Look alive!!!! The time is NOW"

As I was already standing trying to circulate blood flow.. I quickly cocked my 30/30. J posted up and we aimed in true killer form. I'm sure we looked just like a scene out of the Boondock Saints. Positive. Somewhere in the back of my mind Soul Survivor started to race through my mind and I knew what had to be done. Fire away men. And we shot. HIT HIT HIT PIMP DOWN PIMP DOWN. We leaped from the tree stand in a Tarzan swing and ran to find the victim.

Dead.
As I've said before. Success and victory...they'll make you high. I've never killed something with a gun before. Knife fight..spear throw...the occasional nunchuck to the head.. I was all skilled in. A gun. Well...lets just say..I hope you don't see me on the street.

Sudden movements will get you shot.